Namibia, formerly South West Africa, is a huge sparsely populated German colonial country that gained independence in 1990. Its population is about 2.5 million - more or less the same as Woodford Bridge where new flats are springing up at an alarming rate with house and flat building projects on every postage-stamp-size area of land available.

I have met many travellers who have advised that Namibia is the best country in the world so I decided it was time to visit and see for myself. This was country number 125 and looks impressive on Been as it is such a vast expanse. Been informs me that I have now visited 51% of the countries in the world, so the second and much more challenging half is underway!

The Namibian temperature was around +24°C each day although in low single figures first thing in the morning. Most holidays and tours in Africa are safari-centric but having been to several African countries and on safari, I have already seen the "Big Five" - lion, elephant, buffalo, leopard and rhinoceros so this trip was more about the the most stunning landscape in Africa and the natural environment than hunting wild African animals. My TfL colleague Ralph is Namibian and he passed on some valuable advice and guidance about his country. The biggest challenge was how to pronounce "Windhoek" - Ralph, Gretha and a very helpful stewardess, who was more than happy to ply me with different brands of very acceptable Namibian lager, educated me that it was something like "vindhook" although I'm not sure I mastered this successfully!

The flight from Frankfurt to Windhoek was delayed for 25 minutes as three male passengers had to be "removed" and their luggage identified and also off-boarded. The reason for their expulsion was not apparent but they were causing some commotion but it did not seem to be too serious. A mystery! Whilst waiting for this situation to be resolved there was time to reflect on the amazing day at the Savoy hotel for Rachel and Brian's wedding! What a magnificent day that Ann and I will long cherish the memory of! A wonderful venue, great weather, awesome food, drink (beer and my three favourite alternative tipples, champagne, Savignon Blanc white wine and port!) and an outstanding ambiance with a saxophonist playing Rachel and Brian's expertly planned playlist to perfection. The bride and the bridesmaids (Sam and Caroline) looked stunning and even Tom had scrubbed up and was dapperly suited and booted! Brian and I tried to educate Tom in a potpourri of the finer points of Cockney rhyming slang (whistle and flute, dicky dirty, Peckham Rye, daisy roots) but this bypassed him as he tried to come to terms with his newly found sartorial elegance.

The hotel I stayed at in Windhoek boasted a handful of prostitutes in the bar, who afforded unwelcome attention, and a casino which I avoided as my sage gambling adviser, Sathi, was not present! A further reason not to enter was a notice that said all firearms must be deposited with security and not taken into the casino! What sort of punters frequent here I wondered? Helpfully my room had a safe.....except it was freestanding and therefore not terribly useful! Am I missing something ?

Windhoek is a quiet, well-ordered, clean city, although I did trip over some uneven paving stones - no damage and no alcohol involved - honest! Much more developed and calm than cities in Uganda, Kenya and Rwanda that I have recently visited. Some thought-provoking street names such as Robert Mugabe Avenue, Fidel Castro Street and Nelson Mandela Avenue were observed, as well as legacy colonial street names such as Mozart, Wagner, Verdi, Schubert and Brahms prevailing.

I visited the National Art Gallery of Namibia which had a couple of mildly interesting exhibitions. In the first, the artwork was created entirely from discarded plastic bags which explored the transformation that informed the creation of the visual metaphor (clearly I plagiarised these words!). Well known brands such as Smirnoff and Schweppes were highlighted. The second exhibition was about the biodiversity of Windhoek as a fast developing and growing city. It needs sustainable utilisation to preserve the city's rich ecosystem. A pleasant respite is the small Zoo Park and the Independence Memorial Museum charts Namibia's liberation history - remember SWAPO - South West Africa People's Organisation? Christuskirche, my guidebook exaggeratedly advises is Windhoek's most recognisable building and "lauds it" over the city centre! An attractive Lutherean church nonetheless. Windhoek posses an impressive German colonial style railway station with all facilities and expectedfeatures, the only absentee seemed to be a complete lack of any trains!

I visited the Warehouse theatre which put on an excellent display by "Hit the Beat 2015", a US sponsored HIV prevention performing arts project by local school children and teenagers, incorporating dance, drums and stick fighting (not dissimilar to the Drum Cafe! - Simon G would have enjoyed!) choir and solo singing, poetry and garbage music (alternative indie / rock genre). The show included impressive choral renditions of "That's what friends are for", "Knockin on heavens door" and "Englishman in New York" - first class entertainment.

Public transport between cities in Namibia is almost non-existent so everyone drives mainly in 4x4s. So I decided to take a taxi for the 400 kms, 4 hour odyssey between Windhoek and Swakopmund on the Atlantic coast. The traffic-free journey was uneventful, the roads immaculate and my driver, Ernst, was an engaging and friendly companion. The longest taxi ride I've ever taken beforehand was between Batumi in Georgia and the Armenian capital Yerevan, a distance of approximately 700 kms and the journey took over 10 hours!

Germanic Swakopmund was a pleasant, touristy and activity-centric resort. This is where my problems began. I very foolishly decided to go quad-biking. I was joined by a family of three and two students, all Germans, and we set off amongst the spectacular dunes that surround Swakopmund and you've guessed it, I got injured. You are given a crash helmet, minimal instructions and little safety advice. However there is no protection for the body and although I did not come off the bike, it landed awkwardly on a steep dune. I jarred my back and the doctor's initial diagnosis was a damaged vertebrae. Whilst I was aware of high profile incidents such as Rik Mayall and other celebrities, I did not really look into this enough to understand that this was the tip of the iceberg. As my Germanic doctor explained in a fine Teutonic accent, quad bike incidents are "my bread and butter". I beg, beseech and implore you with all the powers of persuasion that I possess, never to undertake this exhilarating yet highly dangerous activity. So I was subsequently admitted to hospital and given X-rays and scans. It transpires that one of my vertebrae is out of alignment with the natural curvature of the spine and according to the doctor and following a second opinion, surgery was not required with rest being the only cure. I also had a brace fitted to support my back when moving around, sitting or not lying down, although as soon as it was so, bits started to fall off it! The brace is now mine to keep, a most unusual souvenir of my stay in Namibia as I sardonically shared with the brace fitter! Better than a model giraffe or other tourist tat anytime!

The treatment at the swanky Swakopmund Medicentre was first class, the nurses were very helpful and proficient, however the food was uninspiring (a million miles away - literally(!) - from the Savoy's gourmet delights) and no alcohol was permitted! When it came to settle the bills for treatment disappointingly there were three cases where the cashier had significantly higher bills than those I had been provided with by the service providers. Do they know who they are dealing with when it comes to customer service? This was quickly resolved in my favour! Steve T kindly removed the expenditure cap on my BlackBerry which meant I could keep in touch by email, text and SMS, a god-send when isolated so far from normality and never more welcome to have tech availability. For once my BlackBerry bill is likely to exceed my bar bill! Ann did a sterling job in smoothing a range of issues that need to be addressed when hospitalised so far from home.

It was confirmed by the doctors that I could fly home as planned and an ambulance took me back from Swakopmund to my hotel in Windhoek. Terrence drove the ambulance without incident and his assistant, Didi, a trainee doctor, proved an engaging companion as I was strapped onto a couch and lay prostrate for the four hour journey. This was a bit like the travel arrangements in the old days returning home on the back seats of a coach from an unsuccessful Leyton Orient away game having consumed huge amounts of consolation alcohol. I spent the evening resting at the same Windhoek hotel definitely avoiding the bar, the prostitutes and the casino!

The ambulance took me to the airport - huge queue for the flight but as I was a medical case, now in a wheelchair, I went straight to the front! The brace triggered a crescendo of alarms as I passed through security and I was subject to extra scrutiny and a forensic body search. A special lift was deployed to avoid having to use the airline steps and I was most fortunate that the plane was nowhere near full which meant I could once again lie across a number of free seats. I was most worried about how I would manage on this 10 hour flight and to be honest it was far smoother than expected. Plenty of time to look forward to the forthcoming football season as the fixtures have now been announced. Hot favourites, according to James, Leyton Orient kick-off against their bitter rivals the mighty Dagenham & Redbridge in a more intense local derby than those of Manchester, Liverpool, Glasgow, Madrid or Milan. Dave and Paul have already identified the key games to attend at iconic venues such as Morecambe, Barnet, Accrington and York although this does exclude Milton Keynes Dons away in the Capital cup, a wise decision following last season's 6-1 thrashing. As Dave astutely observed..."you've suffered enough"! Ann's friend Assaf drove the taxi carefully from Heathrow to Woodford Bridge ensuring a safe journey around the North Circular Road.

And as a final postscript, this trip has now been formally and globally recognised as the "holiday from hell" - my suitcase did not arrive at Heathrow and is languishing somewhere between Windhoek, Frankfurt and London, yet to be located and reunited with its owner!

I never imagined the outcome to visiting country number 125 would be as above. Best laid plans...lessons learnt.... the science of hindsight.... Still I guess it will make a good story to recount once a full recovery is achieved. Svalbard, scheduled for early July will come around too soon and will have to be postponed leaving a reprise to the Ukraine in August in the balance.